ANXIETY

     Well its January 1, 2015 today marks four months since my amputation and tomorrow I go to try on my leg for the second time.  Last time my stump was two inches bigger than the measurements that were taken im hoping the new bigger one will fit.  I know that this process is gonna be the worse part of all this.  There has been very little pain but I know that starts tomorrow,  I just hope that I dont try and push myself too hard. My goal is to get back to my lil dog and some sort of normal life.  I know my mom would love to have her house back in order,  I know she would give up everything for me but I also know we are the same.  I am gonna miss my nurse and chef.  I think I'm a pretty good cook but no one cooks like your momma.  I'm also here trying not to be so anxious about tomorrow but that probably will not happen.  I dont smoke anymore so theres that, cant drink so theres that, and my general doctor doesnt prescribe meds so theres that.  But I will keep the same attitude I have had this whole time.

     Went to Hobby Lobby and Lowes today.  I love both places.  I can say I am finally gonna remodel my bathroom finally but out of necessatie, but none the less.  I live in a really old house but I love it.  Its my grandparents home and the house my mother grew up in so lots of memories there.  Its crooked and drafty but little by little Im making it mine.  My dad is the most handy and amazing man.  I feel bad cause I wont be able to help as much as I used to but Ill do what I can, and slowly but surely we will get it done.

     Gonna get off from here and try and get some rest.  But one more thing.  People have said how much they admire how I have handled this, and I appreciate that but I dont think I am doing anymore than anyone else.  You never know how you would handle a situation till your in it, but you might just suprise yourself of the strength you find inside you, cause its either poop or get off the pot right.